The author says so, so do what I say
by XD Hana Chan XD
Summary: Things get strange for the Mugiwara pirates as the author begins to twist and shape there world to her will. A one shot with me and my sister Fae Tail. Warning things get very weird and very sad.


**_Hi guys fae Tail and my sister here fare warning this is a strange story but I hope it make ya laugh and cry and pisses off a few fans. _  
**

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**It was a not so average day for the Mugiwara Pirates as Nami had just learned that she was Luffys sister.**

"Wait what?" Said Nami.

**You heard me you and Luffy are related deal with it.**

"NO WHERE NOT! That would mean Luffy and me are twins, WHICH WE ARE NOT!" Nami screamed at the author.

**Yes you are. You are because I said you are. Now do as I say and kiss your brother.**

"YOUR SICK, YOU KNOW THAT? YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! AND WE ARE NOT RELATED!" The orange haired women insisted.

**Suddenly Luffy walked in and Nami pulled him into her arms and gave the Rubber man a passionate kiss**

They stayed like that for several seconds with Nami flailing her arms wildly as she lip locked with her Captain. Once they parted Luffy Gave her an utterly confused Look. Nami threw her head back and blushed covering her mouth. "Was that supposed to mean something?"

**No I just like screwing with you guys. Just at that moment Sanji walked in and was immediately jealous and filled with rage at what he saw**

"YOU ** CAPTAIN, YOU DARE MOLEST MY BEAUTIFUL NAMI!" Sanji sprinted to Luffy as fast as he could and gave him a fiery kick to the stomach. "YOU BASTARD." Luffy soared through the air and Landed with a hard smack agents the wooden deck. "SANJI!" Nami screamed. "I WAS THE ONE WHO KISSED HIM!" Sanji felt a weight drop to the pit of his stomach. "B-But I thought you loved me!" He cried, tears flowing out his eyes.

The author could be heard hysterically laughing in the background.

"And what's so funny?" Nami sneered.

**Just you pirates bending to my will. Nami instantly forgot about Luffy as thoughts of a naked Sanji entered her mind.**

**A picture of Sanji butt naked laying in a seductive with a rose in his mouth burned itself into her brain.**

"YOU **ING WEIRDO! GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD YOU **! I WOULD NEVER THINK OF SANJI THAT WAY." Nami groped her head.

Sanji looked at her inquiringly.

**Sanji I'm about to blow your mind.**

A picture of Nami washing herself in the shower inserted itself in his brain. Her hand inched closer and closer and closer... Sanji nose spurted out blood as he fell to the ground twitching. He didn't even get a chance to see the rest as the author forced the image back out his brain.

**suddenly Nami could not help but find herself fascinated with Sanjis eyebrows and how curly they were.**

"No!.. Please not that!" She screeched. "I'm sorry for whatever I did to you! please don't make me think of licking his EYEBROWS!"

**Ok, Ok! I'll be a little nice and give you choices. It's either lick Sanji's eyebrows, give Luffy a french kiss, or rip one of Sanji's eyebrows off.**

A disgusted look spread itself across Nami's face, all of those choices were horrible! and the last one was just plane out evil. She thought for a moment and decided her choice sense there really was no way out of it. She walked over to Sanji.

**Nami then began licking Sanjis eyebrows only to be knocked out of the way by Zoro. He swore At Nami screaming that Love Cook was his. He then began to run his tong slowly along Sanjis eyebrows.**

**Zoro Gently started unbuttoning Sanji's shirt. He carefully peeled it away from his unconscious body.**

"Why the hell am I doing this!" Zoro mentally yelled at himself. This was so creepy. He was casually sitting up in the crows nest working out until his feet started walking on there own. He then came up to sanji who was unconscious at the moment for who knows why, and then... This happened.

"Oi Zoro, what are you doing to Sanji?" Luffy asked, he was leaning agents the side of the side of the ship. **Zoro didn't respond, instead his tongue twirled and played with the ero-cooks curly brow wrapping it around his pink muscle.**

**He slowly trailed it along the loop all the way to the end until it flicked off only to repeat the process again.**

Nami watched in horror at her Nakama was getting fondled right before her very eyes. "Please stop it..." She whispered barely audible, but the author could definitely here her.

**Nami then found herself standing before the crew in nothing but a bra and matching Lemon Panties. this caused Sanji to wake up as he and Luffy began to have epic nose bleeds at the sight of Nami. It was then that chopper and brook walked in only to have both there noses start bleeding to.**

"THIS IS SO WRONG! and how did brook get a nose bleed?" Nami asked.

Yohohohoho, I have no Idea!" He chimed in.

**He does in this story because I am the author. Now lets see what's next? The sky turned the darkest purple the crew had ever was almost black as the clouds began swirling menacingly. The sea changed from a clear blue to a bright lime green. The glow was bright enough to harm the eyes if you stared directly at it. It began raining down fiery rocks of destruction onto the ship nearly destroying it in the process.**

"WHAT THE HELL?" Luffy screamed. "HOW IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING?"

**I'm the author I can do what ever the hell I want!**

"Please Please PLEASE STOP IT!" Nami cried out. "This is freaking embarrassing and your going to kill us! Just for the love of god please stop it!"

**You forget in this world, I AM GOD! You don't die unless I say you die, Now dance my puppets, dance!**

"Nami." Chopper asked in an uneasy shaky voice. "A-Are we going to die?" Chopper was visibly shaking in his over sized red hat and a few tears made there way down his fluffy cheeks.

Nami stared over at him without an actual answer. What was she supposed to say? This kind of thing didn't happen everyday you know. "I- I'm not really sure." Was all she could let out.

**Relax ya fuzz ball, I like you guys to much to kill you off. I just like to make you wet your shorts every now and then. In an instant every thing returned to normal as far as the weather was concerned anyways. Brook started laughing uncontrollably and his bones turned clear.**

"Brook!" exclaimed Luffy. "Where did you go!?"

"I'm right here! Yohohohohohohohoho!"

**Nami then grew an Afro and Luffys straw hat turned into a sombrero. Zoro's bandanna also turned pink.**

"My beautiful Hair!"**  
**

"What the Fuck did you do with my hat you bastard! Shanks gave that to me!"

"Why do you keep insulating that I'm gay?! First the eyebrow licking now this?!"

**Shanks magically appeared in front of Luffy.**

"Uhh, how did I get here...?" Shanks said looking around. He hadn't yet noticed Luffy but Luffy had noticed him. Luffy turned his head to the right acting as if Shanks wasn't there. This was seriously pissing him off now, He wasn't about to let this crazy bitch make him break his promise to shanks.

Shanks looked directly at Luffy. He blinked and turned around. "Where the hell am I?"

**Easy there Shanks I am just screwing with Luffy over there he is the guy in the sombrero who lost your hat. He traded that ratty straw hat the second he could for the cool sombrero he is now wearing. **

"What the hell? I'm gonna kill that little bastard the next time I see him!" Said the red haired captain who was still ignoring Luffy.

"YOU LYING BITCH, YOU TURNED MY... Er SHANKS HAT INTO A SOMBRERO!" He said still turned to the right.

**Wow language Luffy. Shanks isn't used to hearing you talk this way maybe it's time we bring in ... Someone who is used to your potty mouth. PORTGAS D ACE you are now going to materialize about two feet in front of The potty mouth captain over there! MWAHAHAHAHA!**

"you wouldn't Dare..."

**Oh yes I would! Oh Acey, I think it's time for you to... APPEAR!**

Ace somehow was then standing in front of Luffy, back from the dead.

"WHAT THE HELL DUDE, HOW DID I GET HERE?" Ace said scratching his head.

The straw hat boy stared up at his formally deceased brother with wide eyes. "This can't be real..." He whispered.

"STOP THIS IS JUST CRUEL, AND SICK!" Nami screamed out at the author.

**Oh but it is real Luffy. I am the author.****Shanky you can go back home, you've been a great guest! **

**Oh whats the matter Nami, jealous? well I have a present for you. **

**PRESENTING BELLEMERE! Oh and if you are jealous Zoro, I give you your dead girlfriend, KUINA!**

"STOP THIS RIGHT NOW DAMMIT! STOP IT!" Zoro screeched. Memories of her flashed by in his head of the numerous fights they had together, and how she always thought she was never good enough because she was a girl. "YOU CAN'T!"

Nami was left speechless. Seeing Bellmere again? She didn't think she could handle it.

Both Kuina and Bellmere appeared side by side together.

**Aww, what's the matter? I thought you would be happy to see your friends again. Oh well, I guess some people can't appreciate a gift.**

Chairs came crashing out from the kitchen bursting though the doors. they scooped up the terrorized crew members and out of nowhere ropes came and bound up the crew.

**I am going to let you guys sit there and maybe after a while you'll appreciate this great gift I have given you. Why not just relax and have a conversation; when is the last time you guys really got to talk?**

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"Zoro?" Kuina walked up to the green haired man and touched his cheek. Kuina wasn't a child like Zoro had last seen her, but rather a full grown women.

A few tears dripped down his face and plopped down on his lap, "This isn't really happening, it's impossible..." He said to himself not being able to bear staring at her any longer, he turned his head away.

"Zoro? I haven't seen you in so long!" She exclaimed wrapping her arms around him. "I missed you."

"Kuina, your dead, this can't be you, You died a long time ago." He said through clenched teeth.

Kuina Frowned. "But it is me! I was dead but now I'm back for some reason." She smiled. "And I get to see you one last time, whatever pain or suffering comes after this will be worth it because... because I love you, you stupid Pickle!" She gently pecked his forehead and gave a light laugh.

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Bellemere looked at her daughter in the eyes and smiled only a smile a mother could give.

"Nami, you've grown so much!" She happily said.

Tears clouded her eyes. "B- But your dead, I saw you die! Arlong shot you! you can't be alive right now, it's impossible..." Nami managed to say.

"Well I'm here right now, aren't I? So enjoy it while it last squirt." Bellemere said ruffling Nami's orange locks.

"What do you mean while it last? are you leaving?!" Nami cried out.

"I don't know..." She simply said. "It's weird enough that I'm here right now, even for me, so don't go thinking your the only one who's freaked out here." Bellemere said pulling Nami into a tight hug. "You know I love you, and your hair looks so retarded like that." She said with a giggle.

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"A-Ace-Kun... Luffy somehow chocked out threw his bitter tears. "I missed you..."

"Luffy you crybaby, I come all the way from heaven to see you and this is the welcome I get, oh yeah, Sabo told me to tell you that he says hi."

Luffy chuckled a bit. "Well tell him I'm still mad that he didn't say goodbye."

"I'll do that." Ace grinned. There was a long string of silence until Ace spoke up.

"Your probably mad about... what I did at marine headquarters, Right?" he asked rubbing the back of his head.

Luffy looked down. "No not really, other than you breaking your promise you stupid flame head!" Luffy said laughing while at the same time tears were rolling down his face.

"You know Luffy, I can't take you seriously in that sombrero, I liked your old hat better." He remarked.

"Yeah well deal with it cause this is what it got changed to."

Ace gave a smile followed by a small smirk.

An awkward silence lingered in the air until Luffy was surprised when Ace hugged him.

Luffy felt the familiar warmth of his brothers arms, much different from when he had hugged him just before he died. Then, his body was cold and nearly lifeless in his arms, and this hug didn't make him as sad. to say the least, it actually felt kinda nice to be able to hold his brother again, it was like he finally got to really say goodbye. "Thanks for caring little bro, I love you."

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**Aww that is so sweet, *sniff sniff* but this story is getting long so sorry guys its time to end this, but Oda's going to be back soon and hes not going to like me messing around on his computer. So all of your loved ones will now melt away in front of your eyes. Frankie,Usopp, and Robin now appear after having spent the last few hours locked in a closet and everything is back to normal. Peace out guys. **

We now leave the Mugiwara pirate crew were we left off before the author came. Now emotionally scared and more confused than ever.

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_**See wan't that funny and sad and just a bit strange all characters belong to there owners yada yada yada sorry to any fans we may have scarred with our story. **_


End file.
